Stoicism at Work: Bosses, Colleagues and Results You Don’t Control

Why work is a Stoic problem

Work is full of situations that have the exact structure the Stoics described. You are responsible for results, but the results depend on others. You are judged, but the judges have their own interests. You put in effort, but rewards are distributed by people and processes you do not control.

That gap between what you do and what you get is the source of most frustration at work. It produces two familiar reactions. One is anxious over control: trying to manage everyone’s opinion, refreshing the inbox, rehearsing conversations at night. The other is disengagement: concluding that nothing you do matters, so why bother. The Stoic position sits between them. Your work matters a great deal, because it is your conduct. The outcomes matter too, but they are not yours alone.

Difficult bosses and colleagues

Marcus Aurelius, who governed an empire through wars, plague and a rebellion by one of his generals, did not have easy colleagues. Book 2 of the Meditations opens with his morning preparation for them. In George Long’s translation: “Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial.”

He goes on to remind himself of three things. That they behave this way from ignorance of what is good and bad. That they are his kin, sharing the same reason, so he cannot be truly harmed by them or angry with them. And that working against each other is contrary to nature, like hands or feet working against each other.

Applied to a modern office:

• Expect it. You know who tends to interrupt, take credit or send passive aggressive emails. Anticipating it means it does not surprise you, and surprise is where most overreactions start.
• Assume ignorance before malice. Most bad behavior at work comes from stress, insecurity or poor judgment, not from a plan to hurt you. That does not excuse it, but it changes how you respond.
• Respond to the behavior, not to the insult. If a colleague takes credit for your work, the issue is fairness and visibility. Address that, calmly and directly. The insult to your pride is the part to let go of.

Criticism

Criticism is one of the hardest things to take well, and the Stoics had a useful test for it. Epictetus, in chapter 33 of the Enchiridion, advises: if someone tells you that another person speaks badly of you, do not defend yourself, but answer that they did not know your other faults, or they would not have mentioned only these.

The point is not false modesty. It is that criticism contains two separate things: a claim and a blow to your pride. The claim can be examined. Is it true, partly true or false? If true, it is useful information, however rudely delivered. If false, it reflects the critic’s view, which is not in your power. The blow to your pride is the part that hurts, and it is the part that adds nothing.

A practical habit: when you receive criticism, wait before answering, write down the claim in neutral words, and ask what you would do if a friend you trusted had said the same thing kindly.

Recognition

Few things cause more quiet resentment at work than effort that goes unnoticed. The Stoic answer is uncomfortable but freeing. Recognition is a preferred indifferent. It is reasonable to want it, and reasonable to make your work visible. It is not reasonable to make your satisfaction depend on it, because it depends on other people’s attention and interests.

Marcus Aurelius returns several times to the image of a vine that produces grapes and asks for nothing more. A person who has done good, he says, should not call others to see it, but pass on to another act, as a vine bears grapes again in season. That is the attitude: do the work well because doing it well is your part. If recognition comes, enjoy it. If it does not, the work was still good.

This is not an argument for staying invisible when promotions and pay depend on visibility. Making your contribution known clearly and without exaggeration is part of doing your job well. The difference is between communicating your work and needing applause for it.

Office politics and ambition

The Stoics were not against ambition in the ordinary sense. Seneca held high office, Marcus Aurelius was emperor. What they warned against was ambition that leads you to act badly: flattery, betrayal, cutting corners, taking credit.

A simple Stoic rule for office politics: you may pursue anything that can be pursued honestly, and nothing that cannot. If a promotion requires undermining a colleague, it is not worth having in Stoic terms. If it requires better work, more visibility and good relationships, pursue it fully, with a reservation about the result.

Layoffs and setbacks

Being laid off, passed over or moved to a role you did not want are among the hardest professional experiences. They are also clear cases of things not in your control. The Stoic response is not to pretend they do not hurt. It is to separate the event, which is done, from your response, which is yours.

Ask what the situation now calls for: rest, a plan, a conversation with someone who can help, a review of what you want next. And remember that your worth was never in the job title. Epictetus, who was a slave and later an exile, liked to remind his students that a role can be taken away; the character with which you played it cannot.

The limits

Stoicism at work can be misused, and it is worth being clear about where it stops.

• It is not a reason to tolerate abuse. Harassment, discrimination and bullying are not things to accept calmly. Your response, which is up to you, can and often should be to report them or to leave.
• It is not a tool for overwork. “Do your duty” can be bent into “never stop”. The Stoics valued rest in its measure, and temperance applies to work as to everything else.
• It is not a substitute for fair conditions. Individual calm does not fix a toxic workplace. Justice, one of the four virtues, includes working to change unfair structures where you can.

A daily routine

1. Morning, two minutes: what is likely to test me today, and how do I want to act?
2. During the day: when something irritates you, name the fact and the judgment separately before responding.
3. End of the workday: did I do my part well? What will I do differently tomorrow? Then close the laptop.